15 January 2013
Back to blogging…I took a several month break from sharing my life in this public domain (not that I am aware of any public audience) because I was on a particularly personal and vulnerable adventure…exploring a “relationship”. I am back to blogging because, for now, that relationship will not be my focus. I am both sad and at peace with the fact that I will remain single for the foreseeable future.
Returning from a Christmas visit to the US, arriving in the middle of the night and waking the next morning in my own bed to the sultry, muggy warmth of a Sunday morning during cool season in Cambodia was delicious and felt very much like arriving home. Though disoriented from the recent break-up, emotional exhaustion and jet lag, I felt safe. During the morning church service I experienced deep peace and a sense of being back on the main road after a bumpy detour. Detours are good and needed when work must be done on the main road. I am grateful for all that transpired and sense that I see only a small part of what actually occurred, and undoubtably what continues to occur.
Anna fared well in my absence, starting a new exciting job with a women’s fashion magazine, moving into an apartment with her best friend from childhood along with two other young people, and boldly exploring relationships with courage I can only remember having in my youth. I am proud of her and amazed by her. And I am particularly glad she is here now, a comfort for me and source of connection to my own history that is so valuable when living in a faraway place.
Though anxious about returning to work for fear of all that might have gone awry in my 18 day absence, I was immediately swept up in a happy reunion of hugs, laughter, smiles and even tears. The morning exchange of common joys and challenges in the workplace and the mutual regard shared by all the team at BEYOND served to remind me of why I am here and the beauty and gift of work. A visit to the factory in the afternoon was encouraging, but I quickly found myself sliding right back into the role of manager and my trip back to town was a blur as my head swam with a growing list of what needs to be done now.
I close this brief post with a lump in my throat as I think about the many ways I was loved and cared for while home. I feel as deeply connected to my friends and family as ever and my heart aches to be in the bosom of that community, enjoying simple everyday experiences together. As I sort through all this emotion, I simply conclude, again, that being in Cambodia is my path for this season. I know it, and can do no other. I attach several photos as a bit of homage to my beautiful community back home. As always the time was too short and many who are precious to me were missed. However, what was, was good!
Particular thanks to…
Lisa for the home, in your heart and house
Barker’s and Hagey’s for the lovely evening
David’s family for the warm welcome
Tam, Dan, Myrna and Stephanie for the lunch rendezvous
Chris and Jeff for your faithful friendship
TK sisters for your abiding circle of embrace
Sandy and Bob for the best pizza and apples and laughs ever
Hilary, Ron and family for being forever family
Brother James for selling your car, again, to Rachel
Jeanne and Bill for the snowy and restful retreat
Bill, Mary and Alison for the New Year launch
Susie, Ray and all for the comforts of home shared freely
Tiffany and Art for wisdom and warmth
Andy, Nikki and family for being in it with me
Julie and Harley for sharing your lively selves in good times and bad
Dawn for the always welcoming heart and hearth
Rachel for keeping your heart soft toward your faraway mother
And David, for journeying with me and seeing it all through a lens of love
David, Nikki, Andy, Rachel, Natalie and Alyssa
Tiffany and new grand baby Selah!
Visiting my sister Susie at work
Rachel, Dan and Tam (Hals eldest daughter)
Rachel got her wheels back again…thanks brother James
My favorite of Hal’s sisters, Myrna
David and my favorite of Hal’s sisters, Sandie with husband Bob
(Yes, I can have two favorites!)
Best, best friend from college days, Jeanne and husband Bill
Warm hours by the fire with Dawn, my dad’s widow…and my friend